I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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