my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize