i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i've created a new STD.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize