I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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