Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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