Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize