I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize