I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize