My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize