Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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