dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
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If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
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It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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