I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize