I just gift wrapped bread.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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