How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize