Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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