Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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