If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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