Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
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It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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