Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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