It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize