Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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