can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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