you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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