you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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