If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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