you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize