Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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