So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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