I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize