am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize