I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How naked do you want me to be?
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