What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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