Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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