I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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