Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize