it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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