were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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