Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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