like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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