hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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