Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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