so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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