I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize