so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
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Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
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Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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