Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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