She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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