he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
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all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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