She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize