fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize