it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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